Roommates 2.0

As I sit here typing this (instead of returning calls, which is what I should be doing), Ron's in the next room playing The Eagles' New Kid in Town on the ole six-string. So, obviously, some things never change. (See: Ron, Activities.)

However, unlike two years ago, when I posted about the various responsibilities, activities, and pet peeves of the members of our household, Ron is no longer performing as a solo artist. He's now accompanied by Philly, on the ukelele.

And this is what I have to endure in order to avoid paying rent.

Because I'm still living with the 'rents and because some things do change, I've decided to write an updated "Roommates" post, which will probably make more sense to you if you read the original one, the link for which is provided above.

Philly

In charge of:
-Interior design (It's not unusual for Ron and I to come home to rooms that bear little resemblance to the rooms we left that morning.);
-Exterior design (It's widely known...among members of our household...that we have the best-looking front door in the neighborhood, and we have Philly to thank for that.);
-Motivation (By frequently pointing out our "problem areas," Philly has motivated both Ron and me to begin running, and, not one to be left out, she has joined in on the effort. We'll be posting "after" pictures in our bikinis and Speedos in a few months, so make sure and check back.).

Activities:
-Strumming the ole four-string (And apparently she's not the only one: we were informed by employees of Guitar Center during the Christmas season that ukeleles were selling like hotcakes.);
-Law & Order: SVU marathons (Is it ever not on?);
-Touring America, one casino at a time.

Pissed off by:
-The stench of Ron's cigars;
-The stench of gently-used cat litter;
-Republican candidates.

Ron

In charge of:
-Financing Philly's extreme home makeovers;
-Keeping fridge stocked with beer;
-Lawn care (And let me just say, that ever since he discovered that he could smoke a cigar while he does yard work, our lawn is pristine.).

Activities:
-Golf and guitar (which would be an excellent idea for a new magazine, from the publishers of Garden and Gun);
-Eating Chef Boyardee (No one around here can figure out why this man consumes so much canned ravioli.);
-Words with Friends (And Ron has a LOT of friends with words.).

Pissed off by:
-Nothing (that we really care about).

Candy

In charge of:
-Scooping shit (Dolly's, not Philly's and Ron's);
-Making plans (whenever plans need to be made);
-Defending youngsters (on a more-or-less volunteer basis).

Activities:
-Hanging out with Buzz, 7/3 (That's seven hours a day, three days a week. And who's Buzz? He's...Luanne's boyfriend! [Sorry, quick Shag reference.] Actually, he's MY boyfriend! Which means I did really well with my big dating hiatus. But more on that later.)
-Daily polio naps (You can never be too vigilant in protecting against this potentially debilitating disease.)
-Live team trivia (I have really, really smart friends.).

Pissed off by:
-Cat that requires more attention than most toddlers;
-Laundry that, despite being told numerous times, refuses to do itself;
-Newsfeed (just, in general, these days).