Thursday, July 31, 2008

What I've Learned Lately

From current events:
That, sadly, a senseless shooting can happen anywhere, even in a church in Knoxville, Tennessee.

From legal research (e.g., work):
That the Supreme Court's opinion in Riegel v. Medtronic, Inc. (2008) is unclear and unjust.

From a good friend:
That a man who isn't willing to overcome small obstacles to be with you, was never worth your time in the first place.

From the book, Helter Skelter: The True Story of the Manson Murders (which I'm reading right now):
That a person who finds no acceptance as a child (i.e., Charles Manson, who was rejected by his mother and never knew his father) will inevitably suffer from feelings of inadequacy, and will spend his adult life trying to compensate for those feelings. Hence, "The Family." (I've also learned that my ex-boyfriend Slim bears a striking...and disturbing...resemblance to a young Charles Manson. Coincidence? I don't think so.)

From an episode of Project Runway:
That "short, tight, and shiny" is the quickest way to look cheap.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Imitation Is the Sincerest Form of Flattery

Last night I tried to duplicate a meal that I used to love to get at Sunspot, before they took it off the menu. It's a Barbecue Chicken Pasta dish.

Here's how I made it, which is probably not even close to how the cooks at Sunspot did it, but oh well. It tasted good, and it was easy.

Place one package of boneless, skinless chicken breasts in a glass pan (a fairly good-sized one). Roughly chop a small red onion and distribute it around the chicken. Add one whole bottle of barbecue sauce, making sure to get it under the chicken, as well as on top. Cover and bake at 350/375 until the chicken is done. I think mine took about 45 minutes.

In the meantime, cook some pasta. I picked penne, because that's what Sunspot used, but you could use whatever kind you want. Oh, and I also used whole wheat pasta, because I've been trying to eat "healthy." (I'm using that term loosely.) Also, open a can of black beans and drain and rinse them. I rinsed them in a colander and then just left them there and poured my pasta right on top when I drained it, so the pasta would warm up the beans.

When you take the chicken out of the oven, start pulling it apart (into bite-size-ish pieces) with two forks. You can do this right in the pan. Then, add your pasta and black beans to the pan and toss it all together, making sure that everything gets coated with the sauce.

I guess you could stop right there, but I covered the whole thing with mozzarella cheese and stuck it back in the oven for a few minutes, until the cheese melted. (See what I mean when I say that I use the term "healthy" loosely?)

The finished product wasn't exactly like the one at Sunspot, but it was pretty darn tasty.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Not Your Typical Home Invasion

One of the Padnahs has a trial next week (a rare occurrence in this day and age), which means that it's a little hectic at The Firm right now and I don't have time to write the post that I want to write about the contractor who entered my apartment without permission (he jimmied the lock) and then proceeded to sand sheetrock on the ceiling without bothering to cover anything up. I mean really, dude. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT OKAY?

Needless to say, I'm getting a new lock, if not an entirely new door. And Dad is coming over today to finally put one of those sticks in the door, that everyone's been telling me to get.

So...sorry for the short post, but if you're looking for some reading material, check out one of my favorite blogs, Drinking Knoxville. It's written by a group of self-proclaimed "Functional Drunks" (whom I happen to know in real life), and they are hilaaaaaarious. If you've ever thought that you might need to go to A.A., this blog will assure you that you don't.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Crying Jags

I had two yesterday. Crying jags, I mean. And granted, it was an especially shitty day, but still. I cried way too much. I blame it on hormones.

The first jag happened at work. Let's just say that someone needs to learn not to take on more than she can handle. (Me, obviously.) Thank goodness I have my own office, because for about two hours yesterday morning, no amount of effort on my part could stop the tears that were streaming out of my eyes. Naturally, my face looked lovely afterward.

The second one happened last night, after a telephone conversation with my ex. It's weird to talk to someone you used to be in a relationship with, once his or her "switch" has been flipped. Meaning, once he or she isn't in love with you anymore. It's like talking to a complete stranger.

After our conversation, I played that Dave Mason song, We Just Disagree, and cried for a little while. It's #8 on my "Men Are Assholes" CD, which I burned during college, back when I used to sit around burning "theme" CDs for every situation I could think of. (Parties, road trips, break-ups...you get the idea.) "Men Are Assholes" was one of my break-up CDs (followed by the sequel, Men Are STILL Assholes), and I still listen to it occasionally, when I'm feeling pouty over a guy.

Last night, I was feeling pouty over a guy. Seems he's lost his fee-el for me.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Just Another Manic Monday

7:45: I roll out of bed, thankful that I showered last night and get to sleep a little later than usual. But, I've had a very stressful dream (seems to be happening a lot lately), so I don't feel very rested.

8:15: While changing purses (from a Going Out purse, which I used on Saturday night, to a Regular purse, which I'll use all week), I realize that my license is missing. SHIT. I've been going out since I was 18 years old, and I've never lost my license. Why now? And how am I gonna buy booze after work? Dammit all to hell.

8:20: I find my license on the passenger seat in my car. Whew. Crisis averted. (And yes, this means that I didn't leave the house on Sunday. L-A-Z-Y.)

8:30: I arrive at work. And so begins the steady stream of Padnahs, all needing something done ASAP and all emphasizing that their project is to have first priority. It's going to be a long week.

10:15: One of the Padnahs checks in, to see what the progress on his project is. I neglect to mention that he's third on my list of First Priorities.

12:00: Lunch at Buddy's. Every time I come here for lunch, I'm the only girl in the whole place. I guess guys just like barbecue more than girls do. Except for me, of course. It's a "Working Lunch," as I'm reading cases and starting to write a motion in limine in my head.

3:30: Work, work, work.

5:30: I attempt to leave the office, stacks of cases and other papers in hand, only to discover that the cyclone scene from The Wizard of Oz is going on outside, and there's no way I'll make it to my car in the impractical shoes I've worn today. I sigh and head back inside.

And that's why I'm back here in my office, writing a post at 6:00. I wish the rain would let up.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Floating Recliner

Okay, I don't actually OWN one of these floats yet, but I used a friend's this past weekend while I was out on another friend's boat, and let me tell you, it is the shit. Behold:




It has, like, everything you could ever want in a float: a backrest, so you can sit up and drink your beer; a cup holder, so you have somewhere to put your beer; a footrest, so you can ensure proper tannage on your calves; and a minimal amount of inflatability, so you won't kill yourself trying to blow it up. (Yes, I realize that there were some not-real words in there. I'm not too concerned about it.)

I have made it my goal to find one of these after work today, preferably on sale, so that I can spend a relaxing and productive (i.e., tanfastic) weekend on it, at the pool. You should definitely go buy one too, but not before I get mine!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Keep Dreaming

I just got back from the doctor's office, and while I was there, I read something in an issue of Esquire that made me go hmmmm. A guy had asked the question, "Why don't I ever find the right women," and the response was something like, "Because all of the right women are busy writing their blogs."

Hee hee hee.

I don't know that anyone thinks that I'm a "right woman" (most of my ex's would say that I'm batshit crazy...but then who isn't?), but I still liked the sentiment.

It reminded me of a story I read on someone's blog recently, about how he and his girlfriend actually met through his blog; she was a friend of a friend of his, and she really liked his blog, so the mutual friend sent an email to him, telling him about his admirer, and the rest is history. (Not sure if that made any sense, so maybe you should read it for yourself, here.)

After reading that, I thought to myself (as opposed to thinking to someone else), wouldn't it be great if that happened to ME??? But then I thought, yeah right Candy, because there are soooo many (straight) single men out there, sitting around reading random chicks' blogs. Keep dreaming.

But maybe it will happen someday. ;)

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

If Only I Were Rich

Okay, this is really random, but you know what I would do next year, if I had a lot of extra cash and someone to do it with? (No, I don't mean someone to "do it" with, I mean someone to do this with.)

I would go on an Alaskan cruise in June. For the summer solstice.

Or maybe I would just go to Alaska (not necessarily on a cruise), but I would want to be somewhere fairly far north, like Fairbanks or Nome.

Because, how cool would it be, to get to experience sunlight for almost 24 hours straight??? I don't know why, but I have a weird obsession with the idea of sunlight at night. In fact, when I was young, I had a recurring dream that it was light at night, and it always made me really, really happy. I used to wonder if this was because I lived in the Arctic Circle in a past life. (Probably not though, because I hate cold weather. Or maybe that's why I hate cold weather. Hmmm....)

Anyhoo, if anyone feels like giving me a few thousand dollars, earmarked for a trip to Alaska in June 2009, I won't turn it down. Just letting you know.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Summer '88

After having been a student for twenty years straight (I started Kindergarten in '87 and graduated from law school in '07), I'm just not used to this whole idea of not having a summer vacation. Even last summer, when I was studying for the bar exam (arguably a "full time job," even though I didn't treat it that way), I still felt like I was on vacation. That was probably because I did the majority of my studying by the pool.

But this year I'm in the Real World, and summer vacation is a thing of the past. This summer, I'm at the office every day by 8:30, and I'm lucky if I'm home by 6:00. Which means that, unless I leave work to go somewhere for lunch, I generally don't see daylight for nine hours straight. (My office is underground, in a basement. Good for nuclear bomb threats, bad for scenery.) I'm definitely paying my dues.

Sometimes, during my drive to work in the mornings (which is always kind of depressing because I'm wishing that I were going anywhere but work), I think about what I was doing during other summers in my life. Today, for instance, I was thinking about Summer '88. (I know, random.)

In Summer 1988, my parents were already divorced and I was spending Monday-Thursday nights with my mom, and Friday through Sunday nights with my dad. I mean, it wasn't a rigid schedule or anything, because my parents always got along better than most divorced couples do, but that was the general idea. Weekdays with Mom, weekends with Dad.

And back then, my mom was living in North Knoxville, which I hated and thought was "old and ugly," and my dad was living in West Knoxville, which I loved and thought was "modern and pretty." (Funny, now I love North Knoxville for its age and character, and I don't like West Knoxville, because everything there is so new. I guess my taste has changed.)

Anyhoo, both of my parents were working at that time, so during the week I went to Day Camp at Central Baptist Church in Fountain City (which was close to Mom). My memories from that summer aren't all that clear (I was only five), but I do remember a few things, like:

1. Thinking that my group, "The Minnows" must have been pretty high up on the food chain, to have a name like The Minnows.

2. Taking naps in the Lions Club building, across the street. (Why didn't we just take naps at the church? I have no idea.)

3. Sitting on Turtle Scooters in the church gym, but not having a clue how to operate the damn things.

4. Taking field trips to Big Ridge State Park and going swimming in a roped-off area of the lake. (I'm not sure how large this area was, but it seemed very large and very deep. And I really wanted to swim out to the platform that you could jump off of, but I just couldn't quite make it there.)

and

5. Losing a tooth while on the bus going to Big Ridge State Park, and thinking that this was the coolest thing that had ever happened to me. Losing a tooth. On a BUS.

You know, in the grand scheme of things, I'm not that old. It's only been 20 years since I was a day camper at Central Baptist. But when I think about that summer, it seems like soooooo long ago. Maybe it's because things are so different now.

Monday, July 07, 2008

Catching Up

Hey there, blog friends! Have you missed me? I've been sooooo busy for the last week, giving my liver a little workout. (Hehe.) And this week I have all kinds of work to do, so I shouldn't even be writing anything that isn't law-related, but you know, sometimes a girl has to prioritize.

Here's what I've been up to for the past few days:

On Wednesday (July 2nd), I kicked off the Holiday Weekend a little early by going next door to my neighbor's Wine and Cupcake Party. Obviously, this was a girly night, and I really had so much fun getting to know some of my (girly) neighbors. Once the wine started flowing, we had a blast gossiping about our other neighbors and bitching about things like kitchen cabinet placement and not having enough closet space. I'm really bummed that I didn't get to know these girls until one month before my lease is up. I've been trying to decide whether or not to stay in my apartment for another year (or maybe just another six months), and now I want to stay, just so I can hang out with my neighbors more often!

However, when I got back to my apartment that night, I was reminded why I'm considering moving. I went into my bathroom to brush my teeth, and as soon as I walked through the door, I busted my ASS on the tile floor. And no, it was not because I'd had too much wine. (I mean, I had had too much wine, but that wasn't the reason for the fall.) Instead, I fell because something was leaking from my upstairs neighbor's apartment into mine, and the standing water on my bathroom floor had made it very, very slick. Sigh.

I soon realized that the water was also leaking in my hallway closet, where the water heater and air conditioner unit are located, and I noticed that the ceiling in my hallway was turning brown, although it hadn't actually started "leaking." I quickly called my landlord, who I'm sure was thrilled to hear from me, not only because it was 11:30 at night (and I was drunk), but also because we just finished dealing with another leak from my upstairs neighbor's apartment, about two weeks ago. (Note to Upstairs Neighbor: Please stop piling things on top of your water heater. It is not a fucking shelf.)

Anyhoo, to make a long story short (too late), the plumbers came and fixed the problem upstairs, and then some guys from Servpro (whatever that is) showed up and left these machines in my apartment (see below) for the ENTIRE HOLIDAY WEEKEND (Thursday afternoon 'til Monday morning). Let me tell you: These suckers may not look that bad, but they are LOUD. I had to take, like, five Ambien, just to get to sleep each night. (KIDDING. Really, I took NyQuil. I mean, vodka.)

In the closet:


In the hallway:


There were also some machines in the bathroom, but they looked the same as these. Thankfully, everything is dry now, although I'm sure it won't be long before Upstairs Neighbor starts leaking again. (Hehe.)

Let's see here. Am I just to July 3rd? I need to be shorter-winded. When I left work on Thursday, I didn't have a single plan for the Holiday Weekend, which is unusual for me, the self-appointed Queen of Planning Stuff. But, I figured I'd just see what happened.

I called Philly on my way home that afternoon, and we decided to head down to Wild Wing Cafe and see what was happening there. (Not a whole lot.) At some point, however, Philly got up to go to the bathroom, and suddenly, I heard someone saying, "Candy! Candy!" But when I looked around, I didn't recognize anyone. Then, this guy appeared beside me and said, "I thought that was you! Do you remember me?" Obviously, the answer was no. Apparently, I had had, like, an entire conversation with this dude at Hanna's last weekend, and although I remembered the conversation itself (for the most part), I did not remember what he looked like! And he was actually really cute! He sat and talked to Philly and me for a long time, and I think he'd definitely be interested in going out sometime (as evidenced by the fact that he called me twice, later in the weekend), but you know, I'm just not feeling it. Maybe it's because I'm not ready to date again after my last train wreck (I mean, "relationship"), or maybe it's because I didn't get the right vibe from him. Either way, it's unfortunate.

After I dropped Philly off at home, I made a couple more stops to see some friends who were out, and then I headed back to my wind tunnel.

On the 4th, I enjoyed my day off from work by drinking 3 beers with lunch (a rare treat) and then heading to the pool. That night I went Downtown to my friend Ed's condo, which is located in a PRIME spot for watching any kind of event at World's Fair Park. I watched the fireworks show from Ed's balcony, laughed my ass off at some very funny people, watched two couples get into EPIC arguments (always pleasant), and then headed over to Teeny's to crash. Her place was a little quieter than mine, although I did wake up the next morning with a cat on my chest.

On Saturday (July 5th) I was back at the pool during the day, and at night I went back over to Teeny's, for some pre-gaming. She had invited several people over, and after hanging out there for awhile, we all headed to Wild Wing. Here's my favorite picture of the weekend, taken while we were out that night:


On Sunday I declared the coming week to be Alcohol-Free, because good Lord, I have had a lot to drink during the past week. It was a fun time, though, and my lack of plans actually turned out quite well. I definitely found things to do, or at least, things to drink.

And now I should probably get back to writing the Legal Argument from Hell. Be back soon!

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Office Woes

Did anyone see that story on The Today Show this morning about offices being too cold during the summer? I totally identified. My office is Fuh-RIGID.

According to Today, the #1 complaint of people who work in offices (and by "people," I think they meant "women") is that their offices are too cold. And because of this problem, one of the most common things you'll find in people's (women's) offices is space heaters. They even had a space heater retailer featured in the story, who basically said that cold offices keep him in business, at least during the summer months.

Apparently, most women keep their space heaters hidden under their desks, but not me. Mine is right on my desk, about six inches from me. I spend my days literally huddled in front of it. I also have a thick cardigan that I wear over my clothes every day (which pretty much ruins any outfit that I wear), and I keep a thick blanket under my desk, which I almost always have draped over my legs.

I keep thinking that, eventually, someone (a Higher Up-type) will feel sorry for me and turn up the thermostat a few degrees, but it hasn't happened yet. Nope, it remains firmly set at 55 degrees, or something un-Godly like that.

The most interesting part of the Today story (for me, at least) was when they talked about a study that was done at some university, which showed that colder offices tend to cause less productivity and more mistakes, while warmer offices actually cause more productivity and less mistakes.

If that ain't a reason to turn off the air conditioner, I don't know what is!

Of course, no one in their right mind would want to keep the office as warm as I would like to keep it (my apartment thermostat is usually set between 77-79 during the summer), but anything above 65 would be nice.

Here's an idea: Maybe, instead of having the temperature set to the ideal temperature for men (meaning that all of us women have to use space heaters), we should set the temperature to the ideal temperature for women, and the men can go buy themselves a damn fan!

Now we're talkin'.