The Poker Express

After spending Christmas night in Nashville with the Burgundy family, Philly and I were not at all excited about doing the kid-related stuff that the rest of the family would be doing on Friday and Saturday, which we perceived as involving way too much holiday cheer and not nearly enough holiday beer. Just call us Mrs. and Miss Scrooge (or, "lushes").

One of us (Philly) pointed out that we were in such close proximity to Tunica (well, three and half hours away), that we might as well drive down there and stay for a night. Because, when it comes to casinos, she and I are like moths to a freakin' flame.

Also, as usual, Philly had a couple of free nights at Sam's Town, so we figured we'd only be paying for gas, food, and whatever money we wanted to gamble with. So we packed up The Poker Express (also known as Philly's Mazda CX-7) and hightailed it to northern Mississippi. Where, for the life of me, I can't understand a word anyone says. But anyhoo.

After checking in and getting settled, we headed straight for the poker room, to see if there were any Texas Hold'em tournaments going on that evening. There was one scheduled at 7:00 p.m., and we both decided to enter it.

And guess what. I won! My first win in a "real" tournament! (I've won a free tournament before, and I've also won a one-table satellite tournament, but never one where there were 56 people and a sizable pot.) Okay, so actually I chopped the pot with three other people. BUT...I was the chip leader. And I probably could have played it out, but I was pretty damn happy with the amount I won ($1,000), and to be honest, I was also getting kind of hungry.

As is always the case when I play poker, I became a better player as the tournament progressed (at one point managing to come back from only having one chip!), and I also learned a few things. Such as:

1. I am a much better poker player when I take Xanax.

2. The best words you can hear during a poker tournament are: "Congratulations. You've made it to the money."

3. Always beware of a man who's drinking pina fucking coladas at the poker table.

4. Playing poker with strangers is much more fun than playing with people you know.

5. Playing with men is much more fun than playing with women.

6. Playing with twenty-something men sucks. (P-R-I-C-K-S.)

7. Being the only woman at the final table is a high in and of itself.

and

8. Actually WINNING a tournament is the most fun you can have with your clothes on!

At one point while I was at the final table, some guy came up to watch (we had several onlookers) and said, in reference to me, "Chip leader and drinkin' a beer. That's my kinda girl." Hehehe. I told him to call me later. (Not really.)

I guess winning must have given me the poker bug, because I'm already planning our next trip!