Operation Candy

To all my many (MANY) fans: I'm having a fairly major surgery on my jaw(s) tomorrow, which will require me staying at the hospital for at least one night and will require me having my jaws wired (banded) shut for at least three weeks.

Not fun.

I meant to write earlier today, to tell you about all the wonderful, fattening things I've been eating for the past several days (in preparation for my upcoming "diet"), but unfortunately, my pre-surgery day did not go as planned. Instead of waking up and going to work and finishing everything I was supposed to finish before my 3-week "vacation" (sick leave) and, of course, sneaking in a little blogging, what instead happened was that I woke up with a VERY sore throat, panicked, thinking that there was no way I'd be able to have my surgery the next day, and then proceeded to spend the rest of the day in various doctors' offices, trying to determine whether I was, in fact, well enough to operate on.

We decided that I am. (Although it was a close call.) We also decided that I needed a "little something" to calm me down a bit, which is why, at 11:00 p.m. on the night before my surgery, I'm not in a state of extreme panic. I'm actually quite relaxed, and even a little excited, as if I were going to Dollywood tomorrow, or something. Yay for Lorazepam!

So, in brief, I've done my very best to bulk up for my inevitable weight loss, by eating such delicious things as: Big Ed's Pizza, Taco Bell Nachos Bell Grande (mmmmm), buffalo wings, Chicken Parmesan, sushi (not very fattening, but delicious and necessary), potato chips and French onion dip (a rare treat for most of us adult women), and a shit-ton of those soft sugar cookies from the deli section at the grocery store, you know, the ones with the frosting and the sprinkles. I freakin' love those things!

And now, I've eaten my last solid meal, which means that for the next three weeks to a month, if something can't fit through a straw, I won't be eating it. I'll be in smoothie heaven (and then smoothie hell), and by the end of it, I'll probably never want to see a blender again. Thank God for beer.

I guess I should probably get some sleep now (which I will actually be able to do, thanks to the magic of prescription drugs), so everyone please hope for a successful surgery with no complications and a relatively quick and easy recovery! I won't make any promises as to how soon I'll be back to blogging, but I'll try to return quickly, and hopefully with good news to report!

Ta-ta for now!