You're So Vein

Since I'm having surgery in two weeks (May 7th, to be exact), I had to go to the hospital yesterday for my pre-admission testing. After about thirty minutes in the waiting room, during which I nearly hurled from the sight of some poor lady's injured foot, I finally got to go back and begin the "tests." First, I answered about 84 questions for the nurse, and then she explained exactly what will happen on the morning of my surgery. And then, it was time to give urine and blood samples. Urine samples, obviously, aren't that big of a deal for me. Blood samples, on the other hand, are a different thing entirely.

Let's just say, I don't handle it well.

And you wouldn't either if you'd had the bad experiences that I've had, which include: 1) Having a nurse insert the needle and then dig around for the vein; 2) having a nurse poke me four times before finally giving up on finding a vein; and 3) having my vein pop (or whatever the medical term is) and seeing blood squirting from the needle site.

Already shaking when I went into the room, I nearly fainted when the nurse informed me that, per my doctor's orders, she would be taking not one but six vials of blood. Deep breaths, Candy.

She began looking at my veins, and for some unknown reason, after examining my arms and hands, she decided to use a vein on the side of my freaking wrist. WTF? This seemed like a bad idea from the get-go.

So, she inserted the needle, and there I sat, looking the other direction, trying not to pass out, and wondering how long it takes to get six vials of blood. Not much time had passed (although it felt like an eternity), when I felt the needle being removed.

"Done already?"

"No, I've only taken one vial. Your vein just stopped giving blood."

Okaaaaaay.

Apparently, this was a sign that I was dehydrated. Which, consdering that I had consumed no less than three glasses of water with lunch, seemed odd.

"Do I need to drink a glass of water or something?"

"No, I'll just try again."

Great.

So, the nurse stuck me with a needle once again, this time in a more normal place (inside of my elbow), and whaddayaknow. Worked just fine. Five vials of blood later, I was ready to get the hell out of there.

It just never goes smoothly for me.